I Started A Reddit Fight About Overcoming Negative Thinking And This Is How It Went

Some small questions:

Who are we to blame for our depression and bad circumstances?

Is being in a positive mindset toxic?

Is negative thinking a choice or is it outside of our control?

Below Each Header Are The Insights Or Main Conclusion We Both Reached

It’s okay to be beaten down and stay down for a bit.

**SC:**
“Truly spoken like someone who’s never battled their own mind, lmao.”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“I definitely have, and I do every day. This hopeless thinking is also my biggest fault, but that also stands why I am so against it. I don’t believe it is good and I believe it is within our power to stand up to it and be strong rather than being weak.”

**SC:**
“Then I apologize for being condescending to you. Truth is, I’ve been struggling recently as well, with body image. (Lost weight, roughly 80 pounds to be exact) and I’m still feeling fairly miserable about my body. Some days are better than others, and right now I’m feeling very beat down.”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“Hey man! Body dysmorphia is a terrible thing, I’m sorry you are going through that. I don’t know if you like to watch anime, but I take inspiration from how when the main character gets beaten up, no matter how bad, they always get back up. I believe hopelessness, this feeling, is inevitable. But if we keep getting up, then we are unstoppable. This spark, this awe of human resilience, keeps me going. I think we have to tend to this spark and not let it extinguish — this is how I keep my mental sanity. Wishing you the best, bro!”

**SC:**
“You wanna know something, you and I have remarkably similar mindsets. The only difference being that I believe that if you need to, you can stay down for a bit, take a breath. You don’t have to pop back up immediately every time.”

Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“This I actually agree with too! Sometimes for me, it takes having an absolutely shitty week, binge eating, not exercising, no socializing, substance abuse, everything. But it then makes me bounce back 10x harder. I think this contrast in life is important and that this dynamic is inevitable. (Knowing things will always go up and down also keeps me mentally sane, knowing it is predictable).”

Love our life because no matter how shitty it is complaining won’t do anything to change it.

**GB:**
“I don’t even know where to start with this.”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“Start with love.”

**GB:**
“You’re right. I could bitch and complain until the sun comes up but what does that solve. I love my life no matter how shitty it can be at times.”

*Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“I love your life too, keep it up.”

Be a positive influence to those around you. Try your best — there isn’t anything better you can do.

**MS:**
“Your existence has no benefit. One of many meat bags. Do you matter in any meaningful way?”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“I inspire people around me to live better lives, so doing my part🫡 But if you are referring to why we exist in the universe, then honestly I have no idea unfortunately.”

**MS:** 
“You’re implying that no one else is ‘doing their part’. Define part of what in particular.”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):** 
“I mean being a positive influence to others. Encouraging people to accept their victim mentality is not doing them any good. This would be an example of someone not doing their part. Saying ‘Hey man, I know life sucks, but what can we do? Let’s work together and improve it! Try our very best at least, because what other option is there?’ would be an example of someone doing their part. In my opinion of course!”

**MS:** 
“Tried that before, it didn’t work too well for me or them.”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“I’m sorry to hear that, that is terrible. But I am glad you tried. That is better than not, no? Even if the result ended up the same. It’s not trying, it’s stagnation that will kill humanity. If we try our best, no matter the outcome, isn’t this the only right choice? My point here is, what better option is there? I may be blind, but I don’t see a better choice than the mindset that I have put forth. To me at the moment, I believe it is the best choice.”

**MS:**
“I suppose that’s all one can do in this hellish world. Thanks for humoring me.”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“Wishing you the best, bro, you’re awesome.”

Be compassionate towards those suffering but still rectify their behavior.

**SB:**
“lol ok. I hate, haaate when people throw around the word ‘ableism’ but…this post is VERY ableist. Why think that way? Hmm. Let me count the ways…

- chemical imbalance(s) in the brain that can lead to mental illness(es), such as: clinical depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, etc.
- trauma
- grief
- product of childhood conditioning
- no access to affordable therapy to address any of the above
- no access to affordable psychiatric care to address the above via medication
- also: poverty, homelessness, illness or disability, drug addiction, alcoholism, etc.

To me, your post is toxic and void of compassion or empathy. There’s no benefit whatsoever in thinking that way. That doesn’t help your life at all. So why think that way? Oh gosh, this one tweaks me.”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“The main reason these people are not doing well is they don’t have the right people supporting them and giving them a good influence to learn from. Poverty, exposure to bad thinking/information, and other circumstances are the main real reason for this. Oppressed/victim mentality has no benefit. Even if it’s true. Accept what part of it is your own wrongdoing and rectify it. Depressed with brain chemical imbalances? Maybe change your lifestyle. Complaining to the void is self-defeatism. Not going to help. You can either move up or down, it’s your choice in life.🫡”

**SB:**
“You didn’t answer my question. Would love to see some data to back up your claims.”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“You didn’t ask a question haha. You asked a rhetorical question that you answered yourself then you requoted my rhetorical question. So, what is your question?”

**SB:**
“My question was not rhetorical. There’s no benefit in thinking that people who feel hopeless are toxic. There’s no benefit in walking around without compassion or empathy for people who are suffering — and NO, not for their own ‘wrongdoings’ as you stated before. So again, why think that way?”

**Jacobpugmire (OP):**
“Ahhhhh my bad! First of all, maybe miscommunication but I don’t say those people are toxic, but I say their thinking is. There’s an important distinction here. Their thinking objectively is toxic, in my opinion. I have compassion for these people. I feel so bad for their situation. But I have no compassion for this way of thinking. Like a firm dad, I believe you should love the child but be stern and rectify the behavior. These are my thoughts. What do you think?”

(Unfortunately he never replied after this last post.)

This dude gave some amazing quote from Ada Palmer; I haven’t replied to him yet.

Here is the clip that started this who discussion.

I am trying to push into talking about philosophy, mindset, self-improvement and having these open discussions.

I would love to hear your thoughts. :)

Warm Regards,

Jacob Pugmire